This is hilarious, a buddy of mine from California (whom I can’t name) and I were talking about getting fit for spring season and here was his latest workout routine.  I tried it for three days and crashed.  Hope this helps some of you get over that weird hump your at.  If not, I’m afraid to say there’s nothing more you can do!

Go with my Top 10 Xfittooughcowboy program:

1. 4 situps. Overkill to do more.
2. One circuit on the home wall. That means grab a hold, then grab another, jump off.
3. Smoke break
4. Watch 5 mins of Dosage XXIV, grunt like a stupid monkey and get psyched.
5. Hydrate, PBR
6. Lift the lid (important if you live with chicks), pee as hard and fast as possible.
7. Loosen belt quickly, extend gut.
8. Make a fist, slowly relax your hand.
9. Take out recycling (Amy makes me do that)
10. Journal your workout, gotta track progress
  • andy chasteen

    sounds like Wig over and pimpinandcrimpin.com but he doesn’t live in california. Hmmmm….

  • Kyle

    Uhhh… this is almost every climber living in the Fresno, San Joaquin Valley area in California, minus Ivo. Most others have another workout which is similar. Except most substitute PBR for Coors and don’t have DVD players so they still watch Moving Over Stone and Masters of Stone. Oh and they don’t do those sit up things. Just Beer ups, which is kind of getting Beer out the cooler and talking about going climbing.

  • Everyone should really take note of #10; I”m glad you pointed that out, Sonnie, its really helpful to look back and see how far you’ve come.
    Similar to Wig’s workout, but he’s pretty dedicated so he’d probably take out the situps and insert hydration between every other exercise.

  • Sonnie

    Furry, I’m afraid I missed the Tower’s workout, can somebody post it here so we can take a closer look at the two? I may try them both for 3-6 months each and see which is more effective. I’m currently developing my own program as well that involves a little more recovery (i.e. my hammock) in between each event, the best regimen may not even be discovered yet, we have to try implementing all of these techniques to find the optimum performance state. Who’s with me? We need volunteers to help make this dream a reality. We need committed folk, who promise to save all pub receipts, document all liquor store visits and log each minute of couch time. Think of all the variables – Coors vs PBR, Camels vs Bali Shag, sit ups vs sit downs, Dosage IX vs Spray II, the list goes on…

    Only ‘serious’ applicants please!

  • Steve

    Excellent blog sir, keeps me going through long shitty days at work

  • Man! That’s intense! I’m not sure I could keep that up…


  • Dan

    I’m confused. I read through it a few times but I can’t figure when to do the tequila shot?