If you are easily offended then please don’t read my blog. Seriously. I am going to be honest, I sometimes curse when I can’t find a better word, I single out dumb people, like myself and I’ve been known to post pictures of women in their bikini’s. This is NOT some politically correct publication with a hot flash department, this is NOT a 'paid advertising' web page, this site costs me money out of my own pocket and as much as I need it to keep in touch with family, friends and sponsors, I also use it to promote my upcoming career as a Rock Climbing Guide, (not very well mind you) OH and from time to time, I use this space for my little rants, and if anyone gets caught in the line of fire, I want you to know that it is nothing personal (unless I say so). In conclusion, if you have a limited sense of humor, get offended with little effort or despise little bitches like me who soak themselves in self promotion, then I would like to ask you politely to keep surfing the net and delve no further into my rotten, opinionated dribble. Thank you and have a wonderful day.
Does anyone remember WAY back in tha day, when there was a memory limit to our email accounts? Like if you received a naked picture from your bodacious girlfriend (or your malnourished boyfriend), then you’d have to erase like three messages just to accept it, otherwise your partner in the buff would get a failure notice declaring your inbox was full? Remember?
Well goodness, if we lived back in that dark era again, I’d have no room for the influx of positive letters I’ve received over this trip to Scotland, and I wouldn’t be sitting here tearing up a box of Kleenex weeping over my keyboard. But seriously, where did all you people come from? Over 100 affirming messages. Who knew?
Of course these ‘comments’ have a tendency to be sweet and snappy, (the way I like it, ha ha ha) but I can’t tell you enough how much impact they have on me, seriously. I am overwhlmed by elation. Even the shortest of dibs puts a smile on my face and although I can’t get back to all of you, please know that I have read each and every one and I hear what you’re all saying. I’m picking up what you’re putting down. I’m reading your mail. Grin. THANK YOU, to all of you beautiful people and your beautiful support. You’d almost think I made the first ascent, I didn’t, Dave Mac did. You’d almost think I climb for myself, I don’t, I climb only for the spotlight and now I’ve got a taste of it. Thank you for making my dreams of glory come true.
I suppose I should enjoy this moment of celebration, this is my thirteen minutes I guess, because we all know it won’t be long before the mob turns on me like a politician and demands my head on a spit. It’s funny how our society (especially in Detroit) builds someone up and then pulls them back down again, we set them up like bowling pins and when the time is exactly right, we drive over them with an eighteen wheeler, stop and reverse to make sure it hurt. We compliment them to their face and smile, but when they turn around we drive a screwdriver into their shoulder blade. Or at least that's how it seems sometimes. Not that any of you would do that, but I wouldn't blame you if you did, it's only human.
Ah yes, the rise and fall of, WELL… just about everything.
Trust me, it won’t be long before I’ll say or do something that people won’t like, accept or understand and I’ll be the easy target for smack talking and trash mocking, there will be comments about my weak skinny girl arms, the dirty ball cap I wear overtop of my bad hair, or the fact that I only choose climbs that will gain me visibility and that I only ‘redpoint’ after X-treme toproping sessions, so therefore I am not a true climber of soul. It will go donw like this —
"Talk to me when he does something from the ground up."
"I heard he doesn't climb ice, what a puss."
"but did he do the extension?"
"Did you hear he used a rubber knee pad for the crux?"
"Oh my, what a cheater."
"It wasn't a flash, he fell off the first hold and then got back on again."
Oh and let’s not forget that I am a sponsor whore, a prostitute for free shwag and food stamps. Yipeee! Gotta love it. So before all this kicks into full effect, I am going to enjoy the reward I earned from the hard work I put into climbing as of late. It has been a lot of fun. So here I go, I’m enjoying it…
…okay I think I’m done now, it’s time to get back into focus mode. Cory Richards is only one fall away from success and needs an attentive belayer. He got a wonderful high point today, but lost his footing. He’s happy to fall from the last move, so fear won’t be an issue tomorrow, all he needs to think about is one move at a time and he’s got it in the bag. That goes for all of you trying something hard, just one move at a time. Requiem is 5.13b, but let us not forget that Cory has never climbed harder than 5.12b in his whole life. If he sticks the last move he will have officially skipped an entire number grade (on widgets no less) AND if he keeps up this curve, he’ll be climbing 5.15b next year. He is my hero. Watch out Adam Ondra.