Sonnie Trotter

So, What’s in a NAME anyway?

Friday, February 27th, 2009

But first, let us discuss South American Real Estate?

Have you ever dreamed about owning your own business?   Living in the mountains?  Connecting with World Travelers and Traveling the World?  Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night, sweat streaming down your face thinking “holy shit!  I’m almost 30 years old and I haven’t done a thing with my life”?   Do you stay up late looking at glossy pictures of Cerre Torre while fondling your number 3 camalot?

Well this may be your chance to get off your chocolate chip eating ass and do something about it. Last week I got an email from a friend who is selling his ‘yet to be completed’ hotel/hostel/chateau/ranch in the desirable mountain town of El Chalten, Patagonia, Argentina. Alejandro moved to Germany and is now putting the word out to anyone interested in living the dream. Here’s the email and pictures of course.

Hi Sonnie,

This is Alejandro, from rancho grande hostel in El Chaltén, Patagonia Argentina.  Now living in Germany. I am writing to you because i am selling properties in El Chaltén and in case you or anyone you know is interested in investing there…..here there is an opportunity.  I am contacting everyone that has connection with the mountains (climbers, hotels, everyone…)  I have attached 3 files with the descriptions of 2 hotels and land

all the best
Alejandro
Alejandro Silva Ortiz

Okay now onto the topic of this Bog.  I mean blog.

Sometime after 2000 Sharma climbed the extension to the uber classic Biography 5.14c, first freed by rock legend Arnaud Petit.  The upper part (heinous) combined with the established climb now goes at 5.14d/15a – give or take a grade depending on who you talk to and how much you adore them.  Chris named the extension Realization and North Americans ate it up.  But in Europe, somehow, the word didn’t get out so fast.

“Realize what?  Oh, I dink you mean do say, the Biography Extension.”  Jean Pierre would so subtly reply, while abruptly flicking his scarf over his shoulder, adjusting his berets and ashing his cigarette all at the same time, only to roll up the sleeves of his black and white pin-striped shirt and massage some pof into  his bushy mustache.  Why must we assume all french people look and act like this?  – something is wrong with me – anyway, in Europe they refuse to accept Realization’s NAME.  Although the grade they can handle, the fact that Chris did it, I think they can handle that as well, he’s a great guy, but the name?  Not so much.

So – When an extension to an established climb is completed, does it give the ‘first free extensionist’ the right to give the line an entirely new name?  Let’s assume the extension is only one extra bolt, a boulder problem on top of an obvious line, then you or your pal come along, climbed the existing line (lets say a 120 foot uber classic 5.11c that’s been sitting for half a decade) and then you muscle up the extension.  Do you claim the first free ascent of a new line?  yes/maybe.  Do you give it a new name? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

I wonder what Winston Churchill would say?  More importantly, I wonder what you, the reader would say?  This topic of conversation has come up over the years, and most recently between friends, Said Belhaj of Sweden and Steve ‘Manboy’ Townshend of Canada.  Now let’s extend this open discussion over to you, the Wide World of da Web.  If you have a minute for a break, a lunch hour, we’d love to hear your thoughts, as usual.  Oh and if you are French, sorry for the insensitive stereotype, next time I’ll pick on the Germans, then the Uhmericans, then Canadians again.  Personally, I’m not into it, I think we should respect the name of the person who originally climbed it, and if there is a later extension, well, then that’s what it is, an extension to an already existing route.  This post is not meant to take away from Sharma’s feat, which was and still is the most impressive act of dedication I have seen in the last ten years, but to attempt to clarify how this should be handled in the future.  What’s in a name?  Who knows, probably nothing, call it what you want.

Best wishes.
Sonnie Trotter

by the way, is it just me, or are those french guys walking up to the cliff (at the start), following each other a tad too closely?

| Posted in Climbing | 21 Comments »

Bustin out the Goodies!

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

| Posted in Climbing | 8 Comments »

2 Good things!

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

Two good things for Canada this week!

FIRST,  the Vancouver International Mountain Film Festival is happening right now, don’t forget to book your tickets and check it out.  Also, don’t miss the Uber Huber – one of the worlds most accomplished rock and alpine climbers EVER.  Alex will be presenting on Feb 28th (that’s in three days) and I am getting all tingly inside just thinking about it.  But for serious people, the VIMFF puts on a wicked show, you probably don’t want to miss any of it.  For more information click here.

SECOND,  Yuji Hirayama is coming to Squamish.  Not this week, but this summer for sure. We’ve been corresponding lately as I was hoping to make a trip to Japan this year, but now, he’s coming here to try Cobra Crack.  I think that’s fucking amazing, that one of the worlds legendary climbers would come just to try this line.  There must be something magic behind it.

Yuji has always been a climber I look up to, and I don’t have many, but his warm genuine smile, his bottomless cup of enthusiasm, and his ability to adapt to so many situations, from V14 to El Capitan, from 14b onsights to World Cup podiums. He carved himself into the elite field in the late 80’s and has stayed on top for 20 years. A little bit like Lynn Hill in that regard, Yuji has helped shape the climbing life as we know it today, and now in his 40’s he continues to set the standard even higher.

The first time I met Yuji I was 20 or 21 years old ( I can’t remember now) I had just made an ascent of the Smith Rock classic – ‘Just do it’ 5.14b/c (depending on who you ask) about a week before.  He and Francois LeGrand were on a USA tour to crush all the hardest sport climbs. Which I don’t think they managed. They rolled in with logo’s, energy bars, stick clips, and strategy.  I was still just a pimple faced kid eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches.  Anyway, after a couple days of failure, I bumped into the legends in the parking lot.  Yuji was so nice and friendly as he approached me and proceeded to ask for beta on the climb.  I guess, they weren’t able to figure it out as fast as they had hoped and now here I was some skinny punk kid from Newmarket, Ontario with my jaw resting on the asphalt.  Had the world fallen apart when I wasn’t looking?  Was this some sort of practical joke?  The polarities of the universe turned on end and now my hero’s were asking ME for help?  “Well” I puffed up my chest, “I grab this tiny crimp with three fingers, ignore the pain, and then bring my foot up to this pimple by your knee, after that, I reach further up and grab the next tiny crimp, again, ignoring the pain”  something like that anyway. They nodded their heads in unison as though they knew exactly what to do and we parted ways, me to the front side where I would flail on ‘To Bolt or Not To Be’ and them to the back side where they would come aggravatingly close to the anchors.

My encounter with the two climbers, was probably more memorable than my actual ascent of the climb.  And now more than 8 years later, Yuji Hirayama is coming to Squampton to light a fire under the asses of us small town locals.  I can’t wait to show him some gems and hopefully bag a few FA’s in the process, there are so many sick, sicky, sickness proj’s here bro.

Anyway, here’s his latest e-mails from him,  Just for fun.

Hi sonnie

this is yuji.

has going man!?

i am trying my project…over and over

i am realy happy whan i have a project to try and doing it^^

and i have an idea to try cobra…your rout.

i have not much time so i realy forcus for good season for doing it.

may be 3 or 4 weeks…what do you think the best monment to visit squamish?

please give me an idea from you.

all the best

yuji

And then yesterday he followed up with this little tune….

Hi sonnie

thanks for the info.

it is already very helpfull.

i am thinking to visit squamish from end od august to end of september.

that is first choice…

and if i have time…i would like to visit for 2 week(july or end of may).

WoW that so great that many things to do!!

i will contact you when i need to know something.

and i will give you when i fix my travel plan.

hope to see you there.

all the best

yuji

| Posted in Climbing | 4 Comments »

A day for rest!

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

I probably don’t say this enough, but to those of you who drop by and read my scribble, thanks for your support.  Today is Sunday, a day for rest according to the bible. And quite honestly one of the smartest things the bible ever said.  Sunday should be a day of rest.  We owe it to ourselves to have at least one per week.  A day where we don’t answer every phone call, check e-mail 18 times, or try to hopelessly promote our small businesses on facebook.  No, today we rest.  And that is exactly what I intend to do.

Ethan Pringle recently told us on his site (in great detail) about his latest shoulder injury and where he stands.  I feel his pain, intensely and I know for certain that there are hundreds of other people if not thousands, who can relate.  We love climbing so much that when it’s taken away from us, we hurt, it’s like a broken heart and the only thing to put back those pieces is time and positive thinking.  I know from experience.

I did this climb back in Ontario years ago, a cool roof climb, 5.14c/d maybe the hardest moves I’ve done on a rope, it’s hard to say.  But on the day of the send, I was cold and dehydrated.  As I pulled through the crux mono move (an absurdly long cross over with smearing feet) I heard a tear in my wrist, (not unlike the sound of duct tape ripping in half) I knew I had done something extremely severe. The pain ripped through my forearm and pooled into my elbow.  I kept climbing, and knew if I fell off now, I would likely never get a chance to send this route ever again.  The next crux move involves another mono, on the other hand, (not drilled, NATURAL, Ontario limestone go figure!) and I felt a tear and more pain in that finger too, this is not a joke.  I had put ten days of work into this route, more than any other sport climb ever and I was so determined to make it I climbed another 60 feet of 5.13b to the top of the wall, when I got there, I had so much rope drag I untied with the six fingers I had left and dropped the rope to walk off.  I felt mutilated, as though my fingers were rolled over by a tractor, something you’d see in the Sopranos.  The feeling of climbing the pitch was not very exciting at all, I iced my fingers immediately, had two or three pints at the bar, a burger with cheese, bacon and guac, but nothing made me feel better.  I fell into a state of depression for about 48 hours.  Uncertainty, as though my world as I knew it was coming to an end.  Not only did I destroy my tendons, but I felt little to no pleasure from climbing my hardest route.

The report: My right hand finger healed within two or three weeks, it wasn’t bad at all, merely a “STRAINED” tendon.  It’s full strength now.  However, the one on my left hand, ring finger has taken years.  It took 7 weeks before I had enough ‘mojo’ to climb again, but this is where the story changes, and this is why I know we are all going to be okay, even Ethan is going to bounce back and become stronger than the monster he already is.

Two months after the climb, I went to Yosemite with my partner at the time, it was meant to be a rehab trip of sorts.  I still felt pain, but what did happen was that I learned how (and why) I fell in love with climbing in the first place – without even trying – and I did it all over again.  I picked up some trad skills, refined my technique, honed my locks and jams and I had the adventure of Hardy Grimper.  I got scared and pumped on a runout 5.9, as though I was a complete beginner.   I was hooked on climbing for the second time, both glossy and the dirt, not just from a sport perspective, not just from a ‘PERFORMANCE’ side of climbing, but the whole enchilata, the entire fucking package, the climbing that involves adventure and grit too.  Sit down starts, 2000 foot granite domes, 4 hour hikes in the rain to find nothing but a chossy roadcut, 5.12 slabs, finger cracks, offwidths (although I’m not partial) and even some aid.  These days, my garage is decorated with three crash pads, three racks of gear, static ropes, sending ropes, hooks, sliders, pitons, bolts, pulleys, shoes for every occasion, base layers, wind shells, jumars, piss bottles, I’m still a sport weenie, but I fear I am in serious danger of becoming a ‘real’ rock climber.  And even more so, I’m now an assistant guide.

I tell this story, because when we least expect it, life can show us its reason.  I was ready to quit the sport I loved, the traveling I craved, go back to school, conform, invest in the stock market, save my precious dollar bills and take up drinking as a hobby.  Nothing is wrong with any of this, but it wasn’t what “I” wanted, and only after going through such a low, self absorbed period was I shown a better way of living my life.  The world is mysterious and only when we look back at it does it make any sense.

Now today is SUNDAY.  February 22 and let me warn you, this is a very dangerous time of year and I’ll tell you why.

Spring is coming, summer is not far off and for many of us (unless we live in Spain) this is our time to get out and send our dream climbs, achieve our goals and turn fantasy to reality.  It’s our time.  Winter is reserved for training, a time of focus, dedication and late night poker, summer is for SENDING.  Now, most likely, you’ve been gym climbing, hangboarding all winter, with possibly a few road trips plugged in here and there.  You’re starting to feel good, strong, motivated for what is coming.  But here lives the danger zone, a pattern I’ve come to call, the “SPRING SIDELINE”.  I see so many climbers train all winter, they push themselves pretty hard, and they’re going to crush on the first good, dry, available weekend.  The final weeks of “winter” are exciting times, the anticipation builds, maybe we start to think “we should be a little bit stronger” so we add a little more intensity, and BAM, a shoulder pops, a tendon tweaks, a disk bulges, and elbows go up in flames.  We then get forced to sit on the side lines while our friends enjoy perfect spring conditions.  You tell yourself, “I’m going to start training as soon as I can and by fall I’ll send my shit and totally redeem myself.”

A good place to watch the action.

There is a time to push the petal to the metal, and if you relate to what I’m saying, this isn’t one of them.  My strategy is that I want to climb forever, I don’t even care how hard anymore, just so long as I can climb and try lines that are beautiful, fun and free.  Usually around this season, I’ll pull back for a week to three weeks (at the most) to see what pings and pangs reveal themselves.  When a climber or any athlete for that matter trains routinely, they’re muscles tighten over time.  The truth is without proper message or hydration, your tight muscles, will hold you back from getting any stronger.  They lock up a bit.  A soft healthy muscle contracts better and gives you more strength quicker, they also recover faster.  It’s the classic act of overtraining.  Taking some time to reflect, even just a week or two, will allow you to assess where your body is at, let your muscles relax a little bit and tight, tired areas will reveal themselves for you.  Then you can take the appropriate steps and begin your road to powerhouse extraordinaire and ultimately the destruction of your proj brah.  Because we don’t want to just climb our rocks, we want to DESTROY them right?  Ha ha,  sorry just a joke for people who think we conquer mountains.  Climbing is zen-ish, we aim for success but we do not attach ourselves to it.  Or at least, we try not to.

Ethan, Point dex, if you read this, don’t sweat it mang, it feels like the end of the world now, but soon, before you even realize, you’ll be back at it with twice as much power, respect, support and love.  We wish you a speedy journey to that place and look forward to seeing you in action again, “Three degrees”???

Okay, the economy sucks, injuries suck, but we still have our good friends, and I’m pretty sure grapes won’t stop growing so a glass of wine awaits and above all else, the outdoors is still where it’s always been, just outside-your-door.   So I am taking the day off to relax.  Best wishes to all.  Hope it’s a gud ‘un.

p.s.  Sorry for the novel.

S.

| Posted in Climbing | 22 Comments »

To bolt or to break?

Friday, February 20th, 2009

HEY-YOoooooo!

WHat’sup with the haps eh? Happy Valentines day everyone, and I do mean everyone, I hope it was joyous and full of vice. We went to this party here in Squamish that was called the ‘James Bondage’ event, Wayyyyy out there. I can’t say I ever wore a leather corset before, but alas, there I was with a handlebar mustache, a stuffed strapless boostier and a double shot of tequila in each hand. I felt a little bit like that guy from the village people.

What a night to forget, fo REAL. Lydia looked amazing as usual in a one piece pink bell-bottom jumpsuit and high heels, so hot, and then of course, there was everyone else with chains, pasties, g-strings, and ass-less chaps. It was absolutely hilarious! and so much fun, I’d say between 300 and 400 people attended this 5th annual event, there were 5.14d partiers there from Vancouver, Whistler and Kelowna, I’d like to attach some pictures if I could, but I can’t – if I did, I’d never live it down. I’m not usually a shy person, but some things don’t need to be seen. ha ha ha.

The weather here in Squamish keeps getting better, I’m glad I haven’t had to travel much this winter, it hasn’t rained in over 4 weeks, and I’m not exagerating, we are so lucky, EVERYTHING is dry, the Grand Wall, the boulders, the bluffs, whatever you want, it’s all dry and it’s all climbable. I wouldn’t recommend finding a cold cave to climb in, but it’s amazing nonetheless. Everyday I say to myself, (and anyone who listens) “this is the best friction I’ve ever felt” but the next day cometh and proves me wrong. I hope it never rains.

I’ve been climbing a bit but also busy with work too. I’m pretty lucky because I have many projects in my backyard, so I can work and climb lots in the same day. Which brings me to the first point of this post. I have a project that is about 5.12c -13c depending on how tall you are, I’ve sent it clean on toprope 3-4 times in a row, and have never fallen off the last moves. By the way, it’s super high quality, short, but def 5 stars. SO – if I lead it on removable gear it will be r/X rated, meaning you could really fuck yourself up, especially higher up, I’m talking crushed ankles, maybe legs, and a possible head injury. If I place one bolt (max two) it becomes a safe, pleasant climb for everyone to enjoy. Or I could just leave it, it makes for a great top-rope too and if someone was so inclined, they could tie into the sharp end and lead it or solo it whatever they choose. The chance of falling off after the crux is extremely low, but still a possibility, and it’s definitely a NO FALL zone, razor sharp talus. I’d like to know what people think. The area already has a number of bolts, in fact it’s a great mix of gear and bolts and people seem to respect the blend very well, it has a wonderful balance to it, so adding a bolt or two is not going to be unacceptable, it’s just whether or not it’s worth it for a climb that is only 30 feet tall. Of course I would paint the hangers black to make it less visible, but I’m just sitting on the fence right now. If you have any comments we’d like to hear them. I think I’ve already made up my mind, but I would like to throw it out there regardless!

On the work front, I’ve been busy developing a new website. Yay! I’m getting stoked ’bout this, it’s going to be fun, colorful, playful and interactive. Its main focus is going to be training and free climbing tactics. I won’t be covering much alpine stuff, aid stuff, multi-pitch stuff, mostly just movement and strength training for the body and mind. I hope you will continue to join me when we make the shift and that you’ll even play an active role in it’s development. I have two friends from Toronto who are designing the site, because when it comes to the web or compooters in general, I am a lost soul. These two guys have been absolutely integral to the new site look and layout and function, I swear to god they should win an award, my appreciation for them has NO END. So to Neel (you know who you are) I want to say thank you, I am forever grateful and in your debt, to Jason, I want to say the same, but since Jason is in the arts department, I want to add a link to his site. The guy is talented and really makes it happen, you’ll know what I mean when you see some of his stuff. For now, here is a little clip of his latest piece, I hope he doesn’t mind me posting it here, but it’s really uplifting stuff, so I couldn’t help it. For more of Jason’s work you can check out his website at www.spiritsentient.com

Okay ya’ll, I gotta go, I hope everyone is living their dream, not just thinking about them, but actually living them out day to day, for those who are, you inspire me, for those who are working towards it, you inspired me to, it’s a never ending act of balance and everyone has their time, we are merely doing the best we can with what we have, so today make it happen. Hustle, grind, Make it count. Spread the love. S.

| Posted in Climbing | 14 Comments »

The best of both worlds

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

The best aspect to throwing a party is inviting all your friends. Hueco is the best bouldering destination in the world, and Five Ten is the best damn shoe company, so what happens when you put them together? BAM, the one and only Rock Rodeo 2009. Don’t sit around watching South Park, don’t “save your tips” for the gym, don’t hover over your computer screen waiting for the next Momentum Video to be released, don’t even think about blowing this off. Grab your friends (both of them), get in your car, make the honorable pilgrimage south and find yourself swinging, crimping and smedging in all the right places. Hueco wants you, Five Ten invites you, don’t be left holding the remote with dead batteries all taped together regretting the way your dull life is turning out, just get there and climb with some good people, some strange people and some down right stronger than shit people. When the sun is on your face, and you’re digging into those beautiful little crimpers with some new Jet7’s on your feet, you can thank me then.

Peace, love and happiness.

As seen on TV

The Worlds Best New Approach Shoe! The Freerunner.

Strong Simon lacing-up for a quick lap on”The Egg” V8

You may recognize this man from such Nicros ad’s as “we understand”. Five Ten’s own, Nic Oklobzija making a ‘first try’, “first day back at Hueco on my longstanding proj” ascent of Power of Silence, hard V10 – the boy crushed it. Must be the cool way he ties up his shoes.

| Posted in Climbing | 7 Comments »

News Today!

Monday, February 9th, 2009

A friend of mine sent me this clip, and I know it has nothing to do with climbing rocks, but it has everything to do with the world we live in. Please ignore the cheesy guy at the beginning, I nearly turned it off because of him, but stick with it and I think you’ll enjoy what is being shared. What I love the most about this clip is it’s unbiased approach, the journalist who is obviously an amateur with a big future, simply shows us facts, and what needs to be shown with beautiful music while leaving the opinions up to us as viewers. This is good journalism, a lesson we all can adapt for ourselves. Some more than others, including myself, smirk. Enjoy.

So, I’ve been neglecting my true blogging duties lately, I’ve been dribbling about climbing paparazzi and repointing tactics while I should be sharing what’s been going on in the climbing front. I’ll give you a short fix, the Squamish climbing scene has been strong, the weather has been UNREAL this winter and shit is getting accomplished. Nothing truly ground breaking, but why should it be? Yesterday I bagged the FA of my slab project, aka, ‘Robin Barley’s slab project’ after relocating the second bolt. At first inspection I thought it could be really hard, about 5.13, but yesterday I sent it easily with no warm-up and feel it will settle around the 5.12b/c mark. Or if you prefer, the 5.12 mark. I feel it’s nearly impossible to grade a slab accurately, there are 5.9’s, 10’s, 11’s and 12’s but putting a single letter grade on something so delicate and condition dependent is a futile endevour. Also, and even more exciting Andrew Boyd found a hold up and left from the easier exit and wants to continue over the final bulge to make the line complete. It’s going to be much harder then the slab climbing below, but with a big rest in between. The protection bolt is now in place and it’s ready to fire. Any takers? It’s going to be a new age balancing act, an instant classic. The other news is that I thought we found a 5.13d arete in our back yard, a granite sport climb of stunning proportions. Unfortunately, after a good top-roping session it didn’t work out this way, it was a forced line and not worthy of a single bolt. A true disappointment. So, I went back out afterwards and found a tiny slot for a pin and a nut, it’s probably going to settle around fun and exciting 5.13- R/X, which is even better than the 5.13+ contrived sport climb because now we don’t have to put in any bolts and the climber is asked to follow the path of least resistance. The way it should be. The climb is high quality, and reminds me a little bit of Boyds other line, Bruce Lee vs the Kiss Army 5.13b R/X and is not at all unlike the gritstone leads of Stanage. The catch is, it’s a serious line, you simply CANNOT fall after the first (hardest) crux. But I’m not sure I want to lead it just yet, I know I can, I know it’s good enough but the question of injury lingers, is it worth it? After all, it makes for a wonderful toprope. Today the sun is shinning AGAIN, and it may come down to a brief moment of inspiration.

Here are some pictures of us goofing around on the smoke bluffs. sorry, no 5.14’s today and no professional photography, just me, a group of friends and a point and shoot style. Hope you enjoy regardless.

Warming up with a few beers in the driveway of my house. Beefcake on the left, me (dork) in the middle and too cool for School Weldon.

On top of the bluffs, not a soul in sight, looking out over the downtown core, I’ve noticed Squamish is getting quite a bit busier during these last few years, but hasn’t lost its redneck charm.

Chris, charging up Power Windows, 5.11. Five Stars.

The look of uncertainty. Go right mate, go right.

Chris engaging himself on the slabby arete, a wee runout leads to a bolt which leads to the anchor, solid good fun and a must do winter climb. That reminds me, whoever keeps saying that Squamish is only a summer place was right, seriously, don’t come here, it’s shit and it really does rain all the time, please, do yourself a favor, he he, stay home, and if you live in Vancouver, go to the gym, it’s not worth the drive.

Kevin having his turn on power windows. Too bad the view sucks ass. Get em tiger.

Classic butt shot. Sorry. This is me enjoying the thrill of Andrew Boyd’s 5.12+ direct start to Werewolves of London, likely the best finger crack in the bluffs. The slab in reference follows the red rope to my left.

The Chief. Sundown. NUff said.

| Posted in Climbing | 9 Comments »

JOB OPPORTUNITY!

Friday, February 6th, 2009

So get this, while I was grocery shopping the other day, I bumped into a fellow climber.  You can always tell because of the wardrobe, no need to elaborate here, we all know what most climbers look like and this guy was definitely one of them.  Besides, we were both buying ‘organic’ produce and that sealed the deal for me.  So I asked if he’d had any luck on the rocks lately, finding enough stuff that’s dry to climb?   We talked about the Smoke Bluffs, the Grand Wall boulders and then of Dreamcatcher, wondering if it was dry or not.  For those of you wondering I suspect not, still WAY too much snow, but I’ll go out and take a look in a couple more weeks.

Getting on with the story, this guy commented on my webpage and said he enjoyed reading the blog, it was great to hear in person and I still can’t tell if he said it to be nice, or if he really meant it, either way it brought a tear to my eye.  Then he asked what blogs I enjoy reading myself, if any?  When climbers are shredding, I usually read the buzz that floats around, Bishop stuff, Ethan stuff, Kevin J stuff, ukclimbing.com and planetmountain.   But then it occurred to me, that the worlds most famous climber doesn’t blog.  What the fuck?  Of course Sharma doesn’t have to worry much about his budget and he obviously climbs too much to concern himself with writing about it too.  And that’s when it hit me.

If I was a young dirtbag climber all over again, I’d work overtime at my local climbing gym, I’d belay 100 birthday parties, scrub 100 holds, set 100 routes, instruct 100 courses, I’d even offer forearm messages at the front desk for anyone who’s trying to ‘repoint’ their yellow taped proj, “10 dollars for ten minutes” and save, borrow or hustle up enough clams for a one way ticket to Spain BABY YAH.  Where dreams come true.

Now here’s the goods.  You set up an account or a website even, that reads, chrissharma.blogspot.com and you get HIS sponsors to front you some cash.  Now, your job becomes his job, except you won’t be the guy climbing 5.15, you’ll be writing about it from the ground.  Here’s what we want, blow by blow account of each move he does, each grunt and each scream, lets organize some sort of ‘decibel’ scale so that we can visualize how hard he’s trying.  No I’m fucking serious about this, this would WORK.  You don’t even need to get up on a rope, just sit at the base of the crag, carry a laptop, a voice recorder, a camcorder, a still camera with a HUGE zoom, and just document everything.  What he eats, where he lives, how much he sleeps.  When he’s off meditating at the crag, you can film that shit, leave no stoner unturned.  After a few months, you may even need to hire an assistant for more angles and better coverage, this way you can have more free time to climb more routes in a day.   ADVERTISEMENT: “Creepy blogger seeking climbing legend paparazzi staff: must enjoy long nights in sleeping bags, dirty clothes, spaghetti and peanut butter”.  After a while you’d have three or four web-masters working under you.  It would be like ‘Big UP’ all day long.  Just tune in and watch, maybe he’s making a sandwich, maybe he’s drilling a new route, maybe a 5.13+ or a 5.15- it doesn’t matter, here in North America we want to know what’s going on.  Is he hatching plans for 5.16?  Is he more interested in painting watercolors than climbing?  Does he shave his chest regularly?  How many girlfriends does he have?  What?  We want to know, dammit, we deserve to know.

you’d sort of be like this guy in the background, you wouldn’t have to be friends with him, just a silent stalker really.

So, someone get your ass in gear, shit, better put it in overdrive and save your bones, then quit your job and be a self made entrepreneur in SPAIN, all the brunettes and boxed wine you can drink.  You could put Warren Harding to shame.  I would like to throw my vote in the hat if I could, WIG from pimpinandcrimpin.com.  Dude, you got the funniest voice on the scene right now, better get on with it while the iron is hot.  OH and if you go, and it miraculously works, maybe you’d be so kind to cut me a 10% finders fee?  I could use the extra cash, we all know that organic produce in BC isn’t cheap.  Wink, Wink.

After a few years in business, once you get over the initial hump, you could be living here.

And driving this.

| Posted in Climbing | 25 Comments »

Getting the point!

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

As the story goes, when the German legend Kurt Albert was trying to free climb a new route in the early 70’s, he would paint a red x on each piton he could avoid using for hands and feet. Once he was able to avoid all of them, he was free climbing. If he succeeded to free climb a new route, he would then paint a red dot called rotpunkt (otherwise known as ‘the point of red) at the base of the climb for him and others to know the difference. Not only was this the beginning of the free climbing era in Europe, but also, the birth place of the sport climbing movement. Today, a redpoint is common lingo and is beginning to creep its way into everyday culture. One time I overheard two non-climbing brick layers at the coffee shop talking about “redpointing” thier renovations. I know what you’re thinking, maybe they were climbers, but not judging by their wasteline or the neck breaking speed at which they “flashed” their Mountain Man breakfast, a massive mound of pancakes, topped with suasage, sprinkled with bacon. So maybe they picked it up from a co-worker, or a family member, who’s to say? The fact is, redpointing is here to stay.

While these days ‘redpointing’ is okay for quickdraws to be pre-placed on bolt hangers, traditional climbing still requires the leader to place all the gear by themselves on lead, otherwise it’s called a pink point. Pink Pointing is sort of like asking a more charming friend to get a girl drunk for you and then you take her home for the night. It’s not really a complete transaction. You failed to put in all the work required. It’s sort of like cheating. But climbing is for fun anyway, and cheating is okay, unless you join our circle of friends, in which case it’s encouraged. Pink pointing also counts if you redpoint a route in pink pants, like our man Nels here.

By the time the 1990’s rolled around, the Brits had “Head Point” climbing down to a bewildering science, and gritstone was the arena of choice. Headpointing is where you basically pick the only pitch/or variation of pebbles that you haven’t done yet, and top rope it enough times that you actually get bored, at which stage your so called ‘friends’ begin their ruthless badgering. So, you finally suppress your self-preservational desires and lead it from the ground with a butter knife for gear and a potentially lethal landing. (It used to be said that telling your wife of this headpointing game was a one way ticket to the dog house, now days it’s your wife on the sharp end). Although I didn’t have enough time myself to get bored per se, I did dabble with gods own rock for a couple of days back in 2007, and I found it to be a very pleasant way to earn my tea and crumpets.

So, now what is Grey Pointing you ask? Or should I call it, Gray Pointing (US spelling)? I’ve heard of bits and pieces of this, and I have come to form my own conclusion, (btw, please feel free to disagree, I’m no expert here) greypointing is when a leader climbs up to a (usually controversial) point in the route (hence the grey area) and places their highest piece of gear, only then to begin their descent all the way back down to the ground for a piss in the shrubs and a cup of coffee. After a short nap, some Thai message and a quick facebook session, they head back up the route as fresh as the Prince of Bel-Air on a top rope. When they reach their disputable juncture again, they surpass it and yawn while clipping the chains. Now here’s where it gets really funky, I once grey pointed a sport route by stick clipping the third (crux), pre-placed quickdraw. My ankles thanked me later.

Naturally, this leads us to the High Point. This means either you got to your maximum location on a given climb (usually a boulder or a deep water solo) and you fell off – OR – you smoked a phat blunt before your attempt and somehow topped out anyway. For more information about High Pointing click here. Or here.

And last, but definitely not least, we have the Ball Point Ascent. This one is self explanatory, but lets say you spot a new route, you clean it, bolt it and even before you get around to actually climbing on it, you name it, grade it and claim the coveted First Ascent just in time to get it “inked” into the new guidebook release. Voila, a ballpoint ascent. You’d be surprised how many of these are out there floating around, do you actually think your local hero really did that impossible 5.12a? The one that nobody else can do? Ha ha, all I’m saying is….

Well, this just about wraps up my blah blah installment of Sonnie’s Senseless Scribbling, grin, but before I go, are there any other ___ points I forgot? If you have any, we want to hear them. Happy Climbing Ya’ll.

P.S. please don’t take any of this crap seriously, it’s supposed to make you smile, it’s just a joke really, for fun, except for the Kurt Albert thing, that information is for real. Cool eh? If I have somehow offended you here, it’s probably best you don’t visit this site anymore. Sorry. Thanks and Best wishes.

| Posted in Climbing | 20 Comments »

Clip of the day

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

If you haven’t seen this clip, it’s worth the 5 min.  Very well done.  In Yvon Chouinards book “Let my people go surfing” I found a statement I thought was pretty profound.  He says in the chapter dedicated to leading an examined life, “ I don’t really believe that humans are evil; it’s just that we’re not very intelligent animals.“  He also says, “If you focus on the process of climbing, you’ll end up on the summit.  As it turns out, the perfect place I’ve found to apply this Zen philosophy is in the business world.”

Cool stuff.  Have a refreshing Sunday ya’ll.

| Posted in Climbing | 1 Comment »