Kelly Cordes and Colin Haley

Ever heard of ’em? Well, if not, (and you’re reading this) you either just fell out of the sky, OR you literally just started climbing this morning and all you know is that crappy little red and blue tagged boulder problem at the base of the “Extreme Top Rope Zone” of your crappy little high school. In either case, we forgive you, everyone starts somewhere, moving on…

These two guys are fairly bad ass (on the global scale) and I recently read a well arranged piece of writing by Kelly of their adventure to Patagonia where they bagged the summit of Cerro Torre, via the Marsigny-Parkin route, (M5 WI4:2600 feet). It had me in stiches. No seriously, blood everywhere.

To find it, pick up Climbing 267, the one with Beth Rodden on the Cover and flip through past the beautiful bouldering shots until you see lots of snow and ice in the pictures. If the words fantasyland spring to mind, dig in. Here is a letter I wrote to Kelly this morning after I finished the five or so pages, I hope he’s not offended…

“KC, I just finished reading your hilarious dribble about Cerro Torre. I am SO jealous you did that route, it’s like one of the finest peaks in the whole world and I know for a fact that I will never have the balls or the skillz to climb up it. So for that I say fuck you. And thank you for bringing us the highlights in such a colorful way. You write with flowing grace, honest humor and brah briliance and for that I also say Fuck you. Stop making the rest of us punters look so damn ridiculous. Rhapsody? Who gives a shit.

I hope you are well, thanks for the shot of inspiration (when coffee is not enough) and maybe one day, when I am older and crustier, you can drag me up something fridgid but glorious and I shall bathe in the searing glow of a descending sun. I want to feel that so bad right now. What it is do something beyond the scope. In my mind, you alpinists are not so much astronauts as you are bear killers. With bare hands.”

Something like that anyway.

  • elias

    yeah, i read it too, i had the same exact reaction(the pics are really astonishing) with all the fuck you’s hehe(with all respect for them), but here in mexico we use to call it “good jealousy” you know, without bad feelings around like in this case…these guys are amazing and though i have known them for a very little time(i have only 2 years climbing now and it grew on me like a hungry leech) but enough to kiss their ass(gay matters aside) for doing things beyond human skills.